I turned twenty this year. For a lot of people, turning twenty isn’t really a big deal. It doesn’t come with the joy of sweet sixteen, the anticipated excitement of turning 18, and being legal, or the drunken wildness of turning 21, and becoming an real official adult. The age 20, for many people pales in comparison to many of the ages, or birthdays, that will be celebrated in youth, or even through life.
So it’s no surprise that people don’t really care much for it.
And I think they should.
Twenty might not have the glitz, and glamor of the aforementioned years, but it is still a very important year. One could even say an actual milestone. Sure, you still aren’t legally allowed to drink, in the United States at least (I still don’t understand how18-20 year old’s are legally allowed to go to war, and possibly die, but it’s illegal for them to drink, like what?), and sure you aren’t old enough to get a rental, but being officially out of your teen years is still one hell of a feat. It’s the beginning of a new decade, one where you actually have to be aware, and conscious of every decision you make . It’s an age where people start to really figure out who they are, and who they’ll be for their lives. An age where you are old enough to really begin to understand life, and the world around.
So in honor of turning the magic 20 this year, here are twenty things I have learned in my two decades on planet earth
- Life can be one hell of a rollercoaster:
…….But that’s what makes it beautiful. I remember being 14, and proudly telling my friends about my step by step plans in Life. It was detailed, thorough, and seemed completely achievable. And of course, you’d think everything has been going according to plan since those past six years, right?
Wrong!
In six years, I have not only abandoned most of the plans, of my fourteen year old self, but I have also found myself in places, and situations that I never would have even imagined myself in. Situations that have both brought me to my lowest points, but have also strengthened me in ways that I never even knew was possible.
Life can be an absolute soap opera at times, but that’s the beauty of it all. The mystery of it, the not knowing, and the fantastic discarding of previous plans. And the lesson i have learned to just go with the flow, and enjoy the ride.
2. No one every really stops being a kid:
This has been one of the most startling realizations so far.
As kids, we all looked up to adults, and older siblings.
Also Elementary/ middle-schoolers with highschoolers. They were usually the epitome of cool, and fancy, and everything we wished we were.
Until we became their ages, and saw that there was really nothing special about them. We had just looked at them through rose tinted glasses, and decided that they had it all figured out.
When in reality, they absolutely didn’t!
People in general, regardless of age, are really just big kids. Everyone goes around cosplaying adults, because that’s what is expected, when in reality, No one really has everything figured out. or even anything at all.
There is a certain comfort that comes with knowing that everyone is really just trying to figure it out. Whatever figuring it out means. Also, can you imagine being around someone who has their whole life completely figured out? Yikes!
3. Humans are Inherently Selfish:
It has to be a natural trait. We as humans only literally think about ourselves. Even when we think about others, we are thinking about how something about them affects us. It’s quite fascinating.
3. Words are powerful:
The words that we let come out of our mouths are very important. Be careful with the way you use them against yourself, and others.
Also, making random promises can be traps set by ourselves. One thing I realized only recently that people do, is hold you to your words. So you might just say some random
4. There are a lot of uncool people in the world:
……….But there are also a lot of cool people too. And there are also a lot of uncool people that pretend to be cool, and do a pretty damn good job about it. The trick is knowing how to identify the difference between the two.
5. You are the main character of your own story:
…And so is everyone else. So live your life like you’re the star of the show. Walk into a room like you own it, and be nuanced like every main character there is.
However, while being the star of your won show, remember everyone is also the star of their own too. With feelings, emotions, thoughts, hopes, dreams, and stories too.
We sometimes get wrapped up in our own lives that we forget that other people have theirs too.
6. You get to spend the rest of your life with yourself, you might as well like who you are:
This has been a big one for me. I came to the realization this year, that I really wasn’t very kind to myself. I was nice, and giving to others, with my words, and acts, but to myself , I was quite frankly terrible. Being kind to oneself is all about showing love, and patience to yourself, the way we strive to do to others, the people we care about too. And also accepting, all of the aspects of ourselves that we don’t like, and learning to love all of them completely.
7. Parents are humans too that had lives before us:
Long before we were born, our parents were young people too. With hobbies, and interests, and things they loved, and wanted out of life. We come along eventually when they have experienced so much of life outside of us. However, we only see them as parents, as we only know the parent version of them because it’s all we’ve really ever cared to see or know. We do this so much that we fail to forget that they were, and still actual people outside of just being someone’s parent.
It really struck me recently that I was really just an aspect of my mother’s life, and that she too was just another regular woman just like me. It was a freeing thought because i could empathize more with her, and see her as a person, and not just solely as my mother.
8. It is completely okay to be single. And alone :
……Especially in your teens, and twenties. It’s even better to be alone while you are still in the process of figuring out life, who you are, and who you want to be. Finding peace, and serenity in oneself is an underrated heaven. It is okay to be unencumbered by significant other. Also, mastering the art of truly being alone, and enjoying your own company is an absolute skill that will be with you for life. If prince/princess charming hasn’t come along, Its okay to be your own.
9. The world owes you nothing:
No really!
Not your parents, not the government, not your friends, or your significant, or the random people you meet on the street. Knowing this helps to save a lot of disappointment that stems from the natural entitlement instinct.
The only person who owes you anything is yourself. And vice-versa.
10. Financial Education is treasure:
Whoever said money didn’t solve everything must not have had enough money to solve them.
-Ariana Grande (I think?)
Yeah, what she said!
Learning about finances, and everything about it, is something that even grade schoolers should be taught. Learning how to manage finances, build/create sources of income is one of the greatest assets that a person could possible have.
11. All things end, It’s okay to let go
There is one constant in life, No, not death or taxes (though those are constants too, I guess). The simple fact that everything, even the best ones, must end.
But one way or another, everything that is meant to be works out.
It’s a refreshing thought that helps to let go of thing that no longer do me any good, or have simply just run it’s course. I have also come to realize that strongly holding on to something just gives unnecessary stress, and anxiety.
And life is really too short to be unnecessarily stressed, and anxious.
12. Journaling is free therapy:
Well for the cheap price of a book or fancy journal, and a pen. Or computer. Or ancient scrolls. Or wherever you’d like to write your deepest darkest scandalous secrets.
But honestly, Journaling is the bomb! I will preach this to everyone I meet!
Spending time to just sit down in your own company, and just pour out all the complicated knots , and tangles of thoughts in your head is invigorating. It’s also an excellent tool to get to really understand yourself.
13. Nothing is really ever about you:
No like For real!
It’s a difficult thing to come to terms with but remarkably freeing. Humans are inherently self-centered. We have a tendency to make everything about us. When in reality, it really isn’t. Everyone else is so engrossed in their own lives, that they barely even really care about anyone else. It has to be a natural trait. We as humans only literally think about ourselves. Even when we think about others, we are thinking about how something about them affects us. It’s quite fascinating. And it also isn’t really about you if someone treats you poorly, It is simply a reflection of who they are, and some underlying Issue they are dealing with.
So it is really is pointless to take things personal. Or think it’s really about us.
14. It’s okay to have multiple interests/passions/personalities
I really don’t understand why people find ways to narrow ourselves, and interests down to just one type of stuff. It is completely okay to go hard for the Migos or 21 Savage, and still vibe along when Claude Debussy comes on. It’s okay to want to be an astronaut, and still be in a rock band.
It’s also okay to want to be a playwright, a painter, an internet hacker, a scientist, taxidermist, or whatever. And it’s okay to want to do everything, and anything that interests you.
15. Happiness is all about perspective
And so is sadness. Honestly, everything in life is really all about how you look at it.
You may choose to see the painful ways that life has fucked you over, while another person in a similar situation might just be overwhelmed about how they are still blessed regardless.
Joy, and happiness is all around us. In the littlest moments, from the sun coming out after weeks of terrible snow storms, to the falling of leaves in the fall. To the silly moments of laughter with our loved ones, to the smiles of random strangers that we will never see again, to the moment when that magnificent part of a song hits. It is all around us. We just so fixate so much on what’s not going right that we fail to see the joy around us.
Especially when there is so much of it, if we can just stop to smell the roses.
16. People over 18 can still very much be groomed:
For some naïve reason, I always thought I would be safe from perverted adults who liked to prey on young underaged people, the moment i turned 18. I couldn’t be more wrong. Turns out that, the ages from 18-23 are actually immensely targeted. Yes, it’s a fact that you’re legal when you turn 18, but that doesn’t mean one isn’t still emotionally immature, confused, and just trying to figure what life actually is. It is still a very impressionable period of anyone’s life, and it turns out that sick people love to prey on impressionable barely legal young adults.
17. Apologizing is a sign of strength
Saying sorry has never really been much of an issue for me. And I have always found it surprising when people would rather slam their tongues on car doors than say sorry. For a long time, I was made to believe that apologizing was weak, and pathetic.
But it is actually the opposite. The ability to reflect, and know when you’ve wronged someone, and then own up to it, is gold. It takes a lot of bravery, and strength of character. It takes even a lot more strength to be the bigger person even when you are the one who has been wronged.
18.The world can really be one’s oyster
There really is nothing we as individuals cannot do. If we truly put our minds to it. And as a recently minted 20 something(Yep I am one, I don’t care), and also to my new 20 something’s, We can really do anything, be anything, see anywhere. The world is a wondrous land waiting for us to discover.
And the perfect thing is that we are young enough to make all the crazy mistakes, learn from them, and try again !
19. An open mind is a great mind:
I don’t know if someone wise has said this before but, an open mind is a billion times better than a closed one. Having an open outlook on the world, and everything it generally just makes life a little easier. Approaching life with an eagerness to learn, try new things, the readiness to change docile opinions that you discover are wrong. It is a skill that everyone should learn, and would definitely make the world a better place.
20. Just do you:
Life is too short to do anyone else( No pun intended). Or try to be another person. Especially when no one else will ever get to see or experience life the way you do. No one else will ever be able to specifically contribute to this world, or leave a mark in the way that you will. No one else will ever have the particular cumulation of experiences that you will have. Unique experiences that shape, and distinctively make you, you.
And if that isn’t pretty damn special, then I don’t know what is.
So it’s pretty great to just completely live by just doing you. No matter how weird or unconventional you are. It also helps to weed out the fake people, because by being truly yourself, people that are meant for you, will stay.
All in all, leaving my teen years has been quite great. However, even though I feel like I know more now than I did at age 15, or any other younger age, there is still so much that I don’t know. So much that I need to learn. This is what makes me excited for the new decade of my life, there is so much that I am going to learn and do.
#20s #youngadulthood